When That Time Comes
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die.”
—
Years ago, while serving as Minister of Music at Clayton Baptist Church in Rabun County, Georgia, we had a man join our senior adult choir - "The Songbirds" - and later he joined the Sanctuary Choir. His name was Carlton Coleman.
Carlton was a country farmer. Had been all his life. Most of his life he and his wife, Margerie had been members of a small, country Baptist church but had got upset when that church decided to use only the King James Version of the Bible and wouldn't let women serve in leadership roles nor speak in church.
So, they went looking for another place to worship and serve. They eventually came to the big redbrick church in the center of town - Clayton Baptist Church - and became active, enthusiastic members.
Carlton loved to sing. I am not sure if he could read music or not, but he had a good ear, was very faithful to choir practice, worked hard at it, and was one of our most endearing members. He sang in our Songbirds Choir for the last seven or eight years of his life and simultaneously in our Sanctuary Choir the last five or six years of his life.
Then he got sick. First, it was one thing, then another. Some tests here. A procedure there. In and out of the hospital. Back for a while, but lots weaker. Then some more health issues flared up. Eventually he became bedridden at home.
One Sunday afternoon in early August, Carlton passed away at home surrounded by his loving wife, his son and daughter-in-law, and the hospice nurse who had been helping take care of him.
Margerie called me and asked if I could come over. She said, "Carlton just breathed his last and I'd like for us to have prayer."
Of course I dropped what I was doing and went to see them. Their house was only a mile or so away from ours in the beautiful Wolfford Valley of northern Rabun County.
When I arrived, Margerie handed me a sealed envelope. I wondered what was in it. On the front were the words written in Carlton's own hand, "When That Time Comes." Inside were two sheets of paper. One containing his last wishes for his funeral, and the other a personal note (letter) to his wife, Margerie.
She teared up as she held the paper in her hands. She said, "I can't read this now. I'll read it later on my own."
What a kind, loving, and romantic thing for Carlton to do!
I was so impressed. Here was a country farmer who was demonstrating one of the neatest acts of love and faith I had seen in a long while. He had given his family and his ministers the gift of making his wishes known for his own funeral.
The list contained the hymns he wanted sung, the ministers he would like to be involved in the service, the scripture passages he wanted someone to read, and even the color of flowers he would prefer. At the end of the list was a request that I marvel at to this day. As the body (casket) was being rolled down the aisle and out of the church at the end of the service, Carlton wanted us to play a CD recording of The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra and Chorus presenting Handel's Hallelujah Chorus from the MESSIAH.
None of us likes to think about our own death or matters surrounding our own funeral. But, truth be told, we're all on that journey and some of us (thankfully who knows whom) are further along on that journey than the others around. Psychologists, business leaders, educators, and ministers alike tell us it is good "to begin with the end in mind." Our days are numbered. Our time may be short. But what a gift it is to our family and loved ones to be prepared in heart - keeping our relationships on a sweet, compassionate footing with no regrets; being prepared in spirit - trusting our loving God to receive us into His promised everlasting; and being prepared in practical matters as well - having a will, advanced directives, and an outline of our wishes for our final service.
On May 7th and 14th from 10AM to noon on both days, Larry Connelly and Tommye Morris will lead us in an in-depth study entitled, "Looking Death in the Eye." We invite you to consider being a part of this seminar held here in our Carreker Hall those two Saturdays. Contact the Church Office for more information or to sign up to attend.
God bless you all.
You are loved,
Mark
R. Mark Green
Pastor to Senior Adults and Youth & Children's Music