Becoming Like Christ: When You Feel Betrayed
Wednesday, March 31
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Becoming Like Christ:
When You Feel Betrayed
John 13:21-30
Matt Snyder
After he said these things, Jesus became visibly upset, and then he told them why. “One of you is going to betray me.”
The disciples looked around at one another, wondering who on earth he was talking about. One of the disciples, the one Jesus loved dearly, was reclining against him, his head on his shoulder. Peter motioned to him to ask who Jesus might be talking about. So, being the closest, he said, “Master, who?”
Jesus said, “The one to whom I give this crust of bread after I’ve dipped it.” Then he dipped the crust and gave it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. As soon as the bread was in his hand, Satan entered him.
“What you must do,” said Jesus, “do. Do it and get it over with.”
No one around the supper table knew why he said this to him. Some thought that since Judas was their treasurer, Jesus was telling him to buy what they needed for the Feast, or that he should give something to the poor.
Judas, with the piece of bread, left. It was night.
– John 13:21-30, MSG
When I met Joe and Chad.
I met Joe and Chad at the beginning of seventh grade. They were best friends, and because I was the shy, quiet type with very few friends in my class, it meant a lot to me when they offered to be my friends one day.
Joe and Chad weren’t known as the “best” of people in my school. Their grades were lackluster, they were often disciplined by our teachers, but on the flip side, everyone knew who they were and they garnered a certain level of respect in the school.
No one even knew who I was.
So when Joe and Chad invited me into their fold, I jumped on the opportunity to “become known.” We did everything together, whether it was eating lunch at the same table, hanging out after school, or making fun of the geeky kids in class. I felt super close to them.
That’s why the sense of betrayal I felt after arriving at school one day was so shocking.
When Jesus Met Judas.
To be fair, the scriptures never entirely reveal how Jesus invited Judas Iscariot into his band of 12 disciples. At some point, he’s simply mentioned as being a part of the twelve.
But because Judas was the treasurer and had a bent toward greed and thievery, my personal assumption is that he was likely a tax collector or treasurer of some sort in the local community.
He probably found himself attracted to Jesus’ teaching, in awe of Jesus’ miracles, and magnetized to the charisma of Jesus himself. Then, when Jesus was calling people to follow him and to embody his teaching, I bet Jesus saw the spark in Judas’ eye. Jesus might have thought: You can be transformed. There is hope for your kind yet.
And because Judas Iscariot had familiarity with finances, Jesus took the chance on him and asked him to oversee the money bags.
For 3+ years, Jesus invested all of himself into his disciples, including that ol’ money-man, Judas. They probably laughed together, cried together, teased one another, and celebrated moments of transformation together.
That’s why the sense of betrayal Jesus felt after dinner that one night was so soul-crushing.
When Joe and Chad betrayed me.
I arrived at school early at around 7:00am. It was a Thursday. Classes started at 7:25, so the hallways were already buzzing with students. But something felt off.
Everyone kept staring at me, laughing, pointing, and giving me disgusted looks. I was confused. As I approached my locker, Joe and Chad were standing nearby.
They didn’t greet me but instead just glared at me from across the hall. As I turned to my locker, I noticed it had been vandalized with the words, “Matt is a F*$!.” (a slur)
Aghast, I turned to Joe and Chad and said, “What the heck?” They looked at me, arms crossed. Joe smirked, walked over, slammed his hand against my locker, pinning me close, then whispered the most vile, hateful words in my ear.
“We’re going to make your life miserable,” he said.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt alone as passersby glared at me, laughing at the awful vandalism on my locker.
Shaken, I didn’t know how to prepare myself for the bullying I’d endure for the next 1.5 years.
When Judas betrayed Jesus.
I cannot imagine what went through Jesus’ head that night. He knew his time had come, and I’m sure during the entire course of the dinner with his disciples, Jesus was… “off.”
The Gospel of John reveals Jesus was visibly upset. I can imagine he was overwhelmed with emotion, with fear (hey – he was human), and anxiety about what would unfold in the coming days.
And because Jesus was so clearly upset, I’m sure it made the other disciples uncomfortable too. Why was Jesus acting so… strange? It’s why they made the Beloved Disciple ask. Scripture suggests he was either leaning on or probably more likely, comforting Jesus in the moment.
Jesus said through bated breath, “One of you is betraying me.” As he reached for the crust of the bread and dipped it in the wine, I imagine he was crying, shaking, and trembling as he passed the bread to Judas.
“Do what you must do and get it over with,” he instructs.
I cannot imagine Jesus spoke with resolve, but rather fear and trembling with the uncertainty of what was to come. His heart was broken. His fate written with betrayal.
Judas stood motionless holding the crust. He didn’t even eat it but held it shamefully in his hand as he grabbed his bag and walked out the door.
Betrayal is a part of the human experience. But so is resurrection.
It’s difficult for me to admit, but betrayal is simply a part of the human experience. It’s a part of living in the tension of relationships with other people.
If Jesus was not immune from it – from his closest of friends at that – what makes me think that I will live in a utopia of perfect friendships?
My experience with Joe and Chad in middle school was the first of many broken “friendships” I’ve endured throughout my life. I know I will experience more, and while it’s not okay… it’s okay.
While I wasn’t physically crucified like Jesus as the result of my betrayal in the seventh grade, the experience refined my perspective of others and taught me some valuable life lessons. I’ve come out stronger on the other side. My hope and ability to see the best in others has grown.
Because even in our defeat, there is the hope of a new beginning ready to be born.
Because like Christ, even we can rise from the ashes of betrayal.
About “Becoming Like Christ” (Weekly Lenten Reflections)
In 2019, we developed a 7-week long series packed full of devotions called “Exploring Humanity and Divinity.” It was about wrestling with our humanity as we seek to be transformed into the likeness of Christ.
After a tumultuous last year, and with tensions high on political, cultural, and social levels, it seems that “wrestling” is just as relevant today as it was two years ago.
In that spirit, we believed it would be healthy to resurrect a similar theme to this year’s Lenten devotional series: Becoming Like Christ.