Irritation and Grace
My husband and I have been taking midday walks together with our dog while in quarantine. We've snaked around our neighborhood, learning all the streets, scoping out which houses are on the market, which have new neighbors in them, and which have friendly-looking pets in the windows.
Lately, we've been stressed. Pastoring remotely is a new territory for me. He is the resident millennial at his company and is working with coworkers who are not nearly as comfortable with the technology as he is, which has complicated his role. Truth be told, we both probably would have guessed that working from home would be a little easier than it is. Not to mention the underlying stress a global pandemic brings. We're both having strange sleeping patterns and worries about the health of our extended family members, etc. etc. etc. . . And honestly, who would have guessed that eating every meal from home would produce SO many dirty dishes???
Most days we are still over-the-moon newlyweds madly in love and grateful for this extended amount of time together. But even still, both of us have admitted to feeling irritable lately. Grumpy.
His irritability comes out like negativity.
Mine comes out like "Stop being so negative."
If you have been quarantining with other people, I know you know what I'm talking about. All of our stress tends to overflow onto the people closest to us. I find myself having to measure my words so that they do not come out rude or short or curt.
We have found that acknowledging our irritability helps.
"Sorry, I'm in a bad mood today."
"It's okay, I am too."
And the walks help. Breaks from our computer screens, resting our eyes and exercising our legs. Our usual stress relief outlets are not available to us and these are the ones we have adopted. I'm an extrovert who hasn't seen my friends in weeks. He's an introvert who hasn't had any time to himself in our small home. But here we are, adapting.
My prayer for you today is that you find new and healthy outlets to replace your old ones. Outlets to name your stressors and confess your frustrations. Outlets to expend your energy and unclench your jaw and exhale the breath you're holding onto.
We'll all get through this, but there will be some growing pains along the way. In the meantime, let’s do our best to extend grace to ourselves and others.
Kelsey Lewis Vincent, Pastor for Youth and Families, First Baptist Decatur